return to Table of Contents

Chapter 11
The Session

And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.   John 8:32  NLT

     Up early, the four went out into a bizarre world of fantastic buildings of every conceivable type. Each of the buildings touted itself as the answer to what they were seeking.
     "Enter,” they advertised. People urged them to come in. Couples in rows of cute homes with yards and picket fences espoused the benefits of marriage. Vast stadiums announced upcoming sports events. Signs on vast commercial buildings listed job openings. Schools promoted education.
     Temples existed for all possible variations of religions that acknowledged the Pull and the Source. Some had constructed temples of their own religion. These had a sign declaring them to be, "The Temple of Steve," or, "The Temple of Juanita.” By noontime, they thought they had sufficient knowledge of Constructs and returned to Angelique.
     "I hope you took note of the ones that attracted you,” she instructed. “We need to do an initial session to help you recognize any Constructs in your life. This session may be hard on you, but necessary if you want to succeed in your journey. Will you allow yourself to be vulnerable?"
     Each nodded.
     "Good. Let's begin. The truth stream will reveal to each of you what the enemy will attack you with. Only you will receive your stream. None of the others will know what your stream is telling you. In following sessions, you will be encouraged to share with the others some of the things revealed to you."
     She put some chairs in a circle and had them sit. She sat and closed her eyes for a moment. She began to glow red. A stream of truth went from Angelique to each of the four.
     Isabella...hurts from a previous marriage...pride in her independence...not open to criticism...thinking she could handle anything...not thinking she had any weaknesses.
     Isabella rose up and stomped out of the room.
     Devan...abandonment...rejection...loneliness...depression... uselessness...fear…easily discouraged and defeated.
     Devan sobbed quietly in his chair.
     Kamiko...molested as a child...trust no one...never show need...fear of intimacy...belief she was unloved and unlovely.
     Kamiko started crying and ran out the door.
     Leif...insecure...afraid to believe in his strengths…fear of failure…enticed by pornography.
     Leif was embarrassed, even though he was the only one who knew his stream. This showed the Source knew. He wanted to run from the room as Isabella and Kamiko had done.
     No, he told himself. I’m facing this. The Source knows everything about me, even the bad. And yet he had perceived nothing but love from the Source.
     He stayed seated, which was the hardest thing he had done in a long time.
     A blue stream of healing went forth from Angelique to Leif and Devan. The stream flowed not because they were the only ones left in the room, but because they were the only ones who were yielded.
     "Let the healing stream begin the healing process.”
     They both rested in it for a long moment. Leif could sense that somehow his weaknesses had less power over him.
     "This session is a pattern of what you will need to do between yourselves,” Angelique informed them. “You don't need me. Just be willing and the streams will operate as they did here. Let the truth and healing do their critical work. Many who journey this far won’t allow themselves to be open to themselves. Don’t be ashamed of the truth. Face the healing, the true healing from the Source."
     "Will they be back?" Leif asked, referring to Isabella and Kamiko.
     "Isabella will. Kamiko...I don't know. I just don't know."

***************************
     Kamiko ran out of the session in a rage. Why shouldn't I be angry, she thought. Anyone would be if they were molested when a child, and by a relative, no less. That moment played through her mind again, as it had countless times in the past.
     I'll never get over this, she thought despairingly.
     Why wasn't I born a man, she thought. Her whole life she thought her brothers had been favored over her. The path was easier in life if you were a man. This had turned Kamiko from a cheerful child into a bitter woman who distrusted men in general, though she remained hopeful one day the perfect man would come into her life, one who would love her and understand her. That day had never come. She had dated men who seemed to be loving and caring, but she always found some reason to ditch them.
     I'll find the Source without them, she thought. I don't need them or anyone. Just me and the Source.
     As proof she focused on the Beat, but only a faint gold hue appeared. Kamiko collapsed on the sidewalk, tears streaming down her face.

*******************
     Just as Angelique said, Isabella came back soon after the session was over. Kamiko, however, did not.
     Each day Leif, Isabella and Devan walked around the area watching people busy themselves with their Constructs, adding new rooms and levels. Occasionally they would see someone tear a Construct down or build a new one. Whenever Leif tried talking to anyone, they would extol the virtues of their Constructs.
     "But what of your Longing, your journey?" Leif asked.
     "Oh," they would say, "let me show you my Constructs. This is where I found the purpose of my life."
     Afterwards the three would return and discuss what they had seen.
     "I can’t believe they can’t see their condition," Leif said to Angelique.
     "They allowed their Constructs to replace their journey. Even a religion can be a Construct if it hinders instead of helping your journey. A code of morals is not the purpose of life."
     "What will happen to them?"
     "Most will remain right here, happy to go no further. Some will become hungry and thirsty. One day they will slip away and return to Back. Those are the ones you saw come and go when you were in Home."
     When Leif and Isabella walked past a Marriage Construct they would look at each other. The things they were going through together on their journey were bringing them closer together.
     "Remember," Angelique told them, "marriage is not a bad thing unless it becomes a Construct. The same goes for sex."
     Each time Devan walked past a Belonging Construct he had to fight not to go in.
     "Belonging is not wrong unless it’s a Construct," Angelique reminded him.
     Each night Angelique conducted healing sessions where each of them received the healing stream. Each had begun sharing their weaknesses at these sessions, and their hold on them was less and less.
     Isabella realized that her belief she was strong and didn't have any weaknesses was a weakness in itself.
     "One of the worst weaknesses is believing you don't have any weaknesses."
     Devan didn't feel so alone and useless.
     "Fear of loneliness is a strong weakness the enemy uses."
     Leif believed more in himself.
     "Thinking you are not strong when you are can be as bad as thinking you are strong when you aren't."
     The healing sessions were for anyone, but few others came, despite Angelique's going out exhorting them to come.
     "Occasionally I can re-awaken the Longing in them," she said. "But it’s a struggle."
      The saddest of all, at least to the three, was Kamiko. Each day they watched her build a Construct resembling a fortress surrounded by high walls. She built a temple she called "The Temple of Kamiko." She didn't want to talk much with them.
     "She wasn't able to face what the flow told her," Angelique said. "So, she has shut herself off from the truth, and from us."
     The three were not willing to leave her but didn't know what to do.
     "Soon you must continue your journey, with or without Kamiko,” Angelique told them. “There is one possibility, though. A window of opportunity is coming up for Kamiko when she will realize her Constructs are not fulfilling. She will have a period of honesty about herself. At that point she may be reachable, especially if you are willing to pour yourselves out for her sake. You can help her chances to break free if you spend time flowing truth to her. That will weaken the Dark Forms."
     The three were more than willing to do this. Every day one of them flowed truth to Kamiko. Leif was on his shift late one night when he spotted his first Dark Form since the raids with Gerard, landing on the roof of Kamiko's temple, where she slept each night.
     "Aha, I've got you," Leif muttered.
   The form slithered down the side of the temple. Leif could hear its claws scraping for footholds. He shot forth a bright red flow. The Dark Form screeched loudly and flew off.
     "That'll teach you to come around here."
     After that, none of the Dark Forms were seen around Kamiko again. Angelique had told them they would know by their Sensing when that window of opportunity with Kamiko was at hand. Sure enough, one day Isabella came running to the others and announced Kamiko was open to the flowing. Leif and Devan followed her back.
     "Kamiko, you must listen," Leif urged. "You must not stop your journey. You are in danger here. Come with us."
     “I can't."
     "Yes you can! That is a lie from the Pulsing. The Source says you can.”
     "But the Source couldn't want someone as messed up as me."
     "Another lie. Kamiko, listen closely. Do the best you can to admit your weaknesses, but the Source doesn't expect us to eliminate all our weaknesses before we can continue the journey."
     Afterwards, Leif knew the Source had dropped that truth into his consciousness right at that moment.
     A look of hope appeared on Kamiko's face. Isabella and Devan directed flows of truth and healing to Kamiko all the while they talked.
     "Come on!"
     The three practically dragged Kamiko back to the Temple of Longing. The farther distanced she was from her Constructs, the more the Kamiko they were accustomed to she became. At the Temple of Longing Angelique took Kamiko in her arms in a hug.
     "Welcome back."
     Kamiko sobbed in Angelique's arms for a long time while the three hugged her. Kamiko was back. Their journey together could continue.


next chapter